mass.

so it turns out that crazy isn't the only thing that has been growing in my mother's head.

the powerful, ominous "they" say it's about an inch in diameter and is growing on a nerve that transmits sensation into her face.

how do i comfort the person i'm slowly becoming numb to?

how do i pray for sensation to return when i have been praying so long for thicker skin? i've forgotten what it's like to feel good with her, to feel certain of her love.

so, is my tumor operable? do i let myself feel again? is the same god who put that tumor on her brain stem big enough to take it out of me?

these are questions i should ask my doctor. but i am alone in this.

i need to feel her again.