when i go to sleep, i feel like my stomach is turning slowly inside out. i close my eyes and imagine it is and think i am becoming the type of person i despise.
but with these ducks swarming around me, i'm realizing again that i do care. i do care about these ducks and i am capable of caring about the world.
maybe if i cry every bit of water from my body, it will wash me clean in the way that Jesus' blood used to. maybe faith means crying when it all seems too much and believing that the tears will come back as warm rain. maybe the way to heal is to hug my pain and tell it i am going to do everything i can to change to change you back into love.
i've spent so long believing that love is always soft. and i'm not used to love that stings more than it soothes, so i call it disruption.
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Every new poetic creation you put forth moves me. Your voice needs to be heard. This was beautiful, simply beautiful! :)
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